KLEENEX for MEN

Lemme say, one of the coolest things I've yet found in Paris, France, is this Man-Sized Kleenex Box. When Dear Wife and I first wandered into the corner apothecary's shop in search of cold remedies, I caught a glimpse of these babies hiding on a low shelf, and I did a double take. Being stupid with sickness, pseudofed, etc., I couldn't quite wrap my mind around what I was seeing, and therefore didn't summon the necessary strength to reach down and grab this mysterious carton.

But I didn't forget.

And when I returned to the place, and saw that, indeed, here was a goliath version of the Kleenex boxes I'd spent the first half of my life emptying with sickly gusto, I knew that I had to buy one, price be damned (5 Euros, a not inconsiderable sum).

Look how big they are!

They are bigger than my laptop!


Look at the size of this mighty container compared to Dear Wife's bookish spectacles. She couldn't believe these things. But we both agree they are the best Kleenexes we've used yet, on any continent. Their coming is especially appreciated after days of struggle with the prevalent nose tissue product over here, the dinky folded rags in the pocket-sized cellophane wrapper. God those suck. Over here they are incredibly abrasive, and I have rubbed my nostrils bloody raw with them. Regular Kleenex are also available over here, but thay are harder to find.

And now that we know Kleenex FOR MEN, we will never go back.

I think you will appreciate the manly bravado these snot rags evince.


I guess some marketers must have been worried that the Kleenex brand was losing out on that all-important 18-34 male demographic, and devised this product to reverse the trend. I haven't been watching any football matches over here (uh, soccer), but I am sure half-time sees a heavy rotation of commercials touting this product.

What we need are those Arch-Snots of Europe, MAN-chester United, to switch their kit over to Kleenex sponsorship. How intimidating would Wayne Rooney look with this on his jersey?


Clearly, a match made in heaven. And it would have the Queen's approval, a point the underside of the box is quick to trumpet:


How come we don't have any Presidential Endorsement for an All-American nose tissue?